Things I'd Do If I Had The Money

I often happen across ideas for what I'd do if I had a huge amount of money. No, I'm not talking about the obvious "if I won the lottery, I'd buy..." kind of things. Of course, I'd do those things too, but after I'd paid off the mortgage, set up my daughter's college fund and my retirement account, bought my husband his classic Corvette and an H3, and bought my parents...well they have a good house and the only cars I'm guessing they'd actually drive, but I'd think of something good to buy them...THEN I'd do some other things with my money. I am constantly running across people I'd help and good ideas I'd sponsor. Oprah may have made it popular, but she didn't completely pioneer the idea of angel giving and random acts of extreme generosity. Here are a few of things, off the top of my head, that I'd like to do:

1. I'd buy the 12-year old girl across the street a new basketball hoop. Her mother, a divorcee raising three daughters on her own because her jackass of an ex- (who lives less than a mile away with his new wife) doesn't do much to help, put up the current hoop a few years ago. Now, my neighbor is a good woman who made a valiant effort with the hoop, but she'd be the first person to admit she was in over her head with the project. The frame is sturdy enough, but isn't in the best shape and is kinda anchored with a bag of dry cement, and the net disintegrated into a tattered collection of strings a long time ago. And yet this girl is out there every day, by herself, for anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour, practicing her basketball skills on that sad little hoop. No kid was ever more deserving of an upgrade. I wouldn't want to embarass my neighbor, but if I had the money, I would totally sneak a new hoop and net in there in the middle of the night.

2. Rather than spread the wealth around to a bunch of worthy causes that, in my personal opinion, spend more money on marketing and solicitation than they do on helping actual people, I'd fully fund a charitable venture (hence no solicitation expenses). I'm not entirely decided yet on exactly who it would serve, but the point is that it would be focused, directly help actual individuals or families (or fund research), and if other people found out about it and wanted to throw in some of their own dough, hallelujah.

3. I would pay to completely makeover my sister's kitchen, since she came through with a loan for our kitchen renovation when we needed it and couldn't afford it.

4. I would buy a radar gun and big neon sign for my yard - and I assure you, my neighbors would support me on this - and would sit in a lawn chair zapping all the careless yahoos who go flying down my little 200-yard long street because they think it's a handy cut through between two main roads. They think nothing of doing 50 in a 25-mile-an-hour zone, in spite of the 9 children under the age of 18 and one elderly gentleman who live on this block. What chafes me the most is that the worst offenders are the Town trash trucks. So I would sit with my gun and a little remote board for the sign with a few pre-programmed messages like "SLOW DOWN, MORON! CHILDREN LIVE HERE!" that I could flash at the speeders. Alternatively, I could use the money to buy some spike strips like my husband's suggested, and just pay to have people's tires repaired afterwards. It would give me the satisfaction, and I am certain that after awhile, people would start avoiding our street.

5. I would have a big party - a backyard picnic kind of thing - for everybody I know. And I mean everybody (that I'm still in touch with). I'd fly in all the out-of-towners and put 'em up in the local Four Seasons. I'd hire caterers from three of my favorite local restaurants (for variety), and my sister's friend's band (they're really good). We'd just hang around all day, maybe all weekend, and enjoy each other's company and meet each other's kids and catch up on all the stuff we never have time to sit around and catch up on. Wouldn't that just be the best way to spend a weekend?

I think that'll do it for now. At least until I actually have some money.